he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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