You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
