You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
