Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
