He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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