That's intense
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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