I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
