I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
