I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
