I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
