so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
