This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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