Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
