I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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