please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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