that's an acceptable place to lick
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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