I'm gonna have a badass scar
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
