hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
