are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
