NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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