When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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