Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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