For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
