ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
