There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
