and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
