Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
