She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
