you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize