Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
