they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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