I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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