I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
