i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
