standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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