My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
