Bisexual people are plain selfish.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
