I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize