I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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