is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
