yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
