dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Randomize