Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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