If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Alive.
So much puke
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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