4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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