You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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