South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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