i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
