I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
