he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
