: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
