I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
