ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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