And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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