So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
