How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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