Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
