Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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