So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
