false alarm. still invincible.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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