watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
50% drunk capacity currently
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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