I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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