you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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