fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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