I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
