Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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