Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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