so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize