Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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