I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
