I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
