i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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