he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
