I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
