all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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