Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
