I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize